Stormy Seas of Grief - Poem

Deep in a storm I nearly drown,

When my boat turned upside down.

Which way to find dry ground?

Or would I just be found?

Waves crashed all around me,

As I rode the rocky seas.

I felt like I could barely breathe,

Lungs feeling so heavy.

Rolling in with the tide,

Rolling out to go hide. 

This storm was quite the ride,

Dissolving ego and my pride. 

My past left much loss to heal,

How was I supposed to deal? 

Was this all even real?

I didn’t know what to feel.

I tried so hard to run and run 

Pausing when I felt so numb. 

Outside I wasn’t crying,

Inside I was slowly dying. 

What happened you wonder? 

What wave dragged me under?

Cancer can rob good days of life,

Side effects cut like a knife.

It’s all so much stress and strife,

Within this one precious life.

Fighting disease is so draining,

Problems seemed to keep on raining.

Feeling like we were straining,

Trying not to be complaining.

How is one supposed to be,

Along such a tough journey?

Happy, light and carefree? 

Or allow vulnerability?

I lost my spouse which broke my heart, 

Then rebuilt my life part-by-part. 

I didn’t know how to start,

Healing shots from the darts.

It felt like it was all to rough, 

I had truly had enough.

I tried to be so tough,

Then let go - I was enough.

I was enough,

I am enough. 

I am always enough.

As I float through the sea,

I now do so willingly. 

Seeking grief recovery,

I now can believe, 

The new identity, 

That is inside me. 

She was there all along, 

Trying hard to be so strong.

Now she sings a brand new song,

A melody of moving on…

Grief peels back layers one by one,

The work is never fully done.

Now I pause rather than run,

Unwinding pain to find the sun.

Rainbows shine after storms

A new soul and self have been reborn.